the joke that is journalism

journalism in india, scene one:
editor: 'can you write movie reviews?'
reporter: 'um, no. i'm not qualified to.'
editor: 'what does that mean?'
reporter: 'it means i haven't studied cinema, or claim to know the art form particularly well.'
editor: 'that's okay; none of us are experts. we need new perspectives.'
reporter: 'but aren't you being unfair to your readers? they expect an opinion that matters, don't they?'
editor: 'not really. there are no qualified movie critics in india. our readers don't expect intelligent reviewers. a qualified reviewer may even scare them away.'

journalism in india, scene two:
editor: 'you should cover page 3, the social scene.'
reporter: 'how can i? i don't belong to this city, how will i know who the people that matter are?'
editor: 'i don't understand.'
reporter: 'i come from delhi, where everyone's star-struck. how will i know who the real celebs are?'
editor: 'go with your gut. if a woman appears to be popular, she's probably a celebrity.'
reporter: 'but i come from delhi. we have no celebs, only politicians. how will i recognise what true glamour really is?'
editor: 'go with your gut. most of our starlets are non-bombayites; their bad accents give them away. if you find someone who can't speak english, that's the celeb you need to speak to.'
reporter: 'but i come from delhi, where the quality of education is so bad that none of us speak particularly well either.'
editor: 'this makes you more than qualified to recognise a kindred spirit. the wannabes always flock together.'